Bogavanian High Priest Explains the Religious State of the Nation
The Following is an account of the state of religion in Bogavania, prepared for the Redian ambassador, John Cranker by the High priest of Bogavania, Oomon Crabber, on direction of King Blue Iron. The religious views, of the blogger are not necessarily represented here and no offence to any of the religions mentioned is intended.
A REPORT BY OOMON CRANKER, HIGH PRIEST OF BOGAVANIA, ON DIRECTION OF OUR GOD APPOINTED KING, LORD BLUE IRON
We of Bogavania thank the good Lord, Yowzah, that in His wisdom He sent His only son, Yuzo, to earth to suffer for our sins and that we have been blessed with His word.
Bogavania was lifted from the blight of pagan devil worship and eternal damnation by Saint Ozmond in the year 377 AY. The conversion of the Roman Empire to he True Faith facilitated this as the Romans had invaded and helped to civilize the country but best of all they facilitated the saving of millions of souls.
Unfortunately, over the last half century the papacy has degenerated, with even reports of the latest pope, pope Ogbert, cavorting with whores and having one of them depicted as the Holy Vigin in a painting above his bed.
However, the catalyst was the revelation of the Archangel Jeffrey to the Maid. Saint Rivina. This was the instruction to imbibe of the Holy Mushroom. The gold plates inscribed with God's instructions were also left with Saint Rivina and are now in the church's care.The ignorant at first abused this instruction and OVER-imbibed. The Church of Bogavania has stepped in to limit the consumption to small amounts to Passover and under direction for purposes of fortifying our warriors against our enemies.
Let us reassure you that as well as our revelation that the Holy Mushroom is a part of the Body of Yuzo we follow the traditions of The True Faith We take as self evident the dualist nature of the multiverse. We know that Yowzah would not have created evil and instead that this is created by the infernal Yoonka. Although these two entities are fighting an eternal battle the One True God will eventually triumph and Yowzah will banish the Darkness. With Yuzo at his side He will wake the dead from their slumbers and lift the Good to Heaven. The Bad will be flung into the infernal pit with Yoonka.
We also accept that Yuzo survived the Roman sentence of death by beast and went on to live out his life with his wife Mary in Mogostan. His descendants founded the Holy Church. We have stamped out all heretics who have insisted that his body perished in the belly of the rampant whale before he rose on the third day. It is well established in the scriptures that he was rescued by Saint Jonah, the fisherman who cut him out of the whale's belly and that he did not die until thirty years later.
Now I must answer some scandalous allegations made by the enemies of Bogavania. It is true that we have in our army certain horse archers of the Luna faith. This is evident to all as the cresent moon appears on their flags. This in no way means we have come to a theological understanding with the Infidels. No conversions to the Moon god are permitted in Bogavania. We tolerate the spread of neither sect of Luna, that is the Moonies and the Lookas. However we are in clear and present danger of invasion by Beerstein and require these archers for the role they can play in its defence. It is also true that Beerstein now makes common cause with the pagan Hill people
Secondly, the split with Rome had nothing to do with the King's wish to marry his second cousin, Sophie Spooner. At seventeen she was well past marrying age and lacked a suitable suitor. The king had recently lost Jillian, his wife, of twenty years, in a tragic accident but he has decided to cut short the period of grieving to facilitate a happy life for princess Sophie.
Nor is it true that the king wished to simply take over the monasteries in greed for their gold. It is true that the monks had accumulated huge amount of wealth but this will be now employed by the king for the good of the realm.
We wish King Hoot well in his own endeavours to follow Bogavania's example to bring religious revelation to Redia and to break the ties to The Whore of Babble, the Roman Pope.
A REPORT BY OOMON CRANKER, HIGH PRIEST OF BOGAVANIA, ON DIRECTION OF OUR GOD APPOINTED KING, LORD BLUE IRON
We of Bogavania thank the good Lord, Yowzah, that in His wisdom He sent His only son, Yuzo, to earth to suffer for our sins and that we have been blessed with His word.
Bogavania was lifted from the blight of pagan devil worship and eternal damnation by Saint Ozmond in the year 377 AY. The conversion of the Roman Empire to he True Faith facilitated this as the Romans had invaded and helped to civilize the country but best of all they facilitated the saving of millions of souls.
Unfortunately, over the last half century the papacy has degenerated, with even reports of the latest pope, pope Ogbert, cavorting with whores and having one of them depicted as the Holy Vigin in a painting above his bed.
However, the catalyst was the revelation of the Archangel Jeffrey to the Maid. Saint Rivina. This was the instruction to imbibe of the Holy Mushroom. The gold plates inscribed with God's instructions were also left with Saint Rivina and are now in the church's care.The ignorant at first abused this instruction and OVER-imbibed. The Church of Bogavania has stepped in to limit the consumption to small amounts to Passover and under direction for purposes of fortifying our warriors against our enemies.
Let us reassure you that as well as our revelation that the Holy Mushroom is a part of the Body of Yuzo we follow the traditions of The True Faith We take as self evident the dualist nature of the multiverse. We know that Yowzah would not have created evil and instead that this is created by the infernal Yoonka. Although these two entities are fighting an eternal battle the One True God will eventually triumph and Yowzah will banish the Darkness. With Yuzo at his side He will wake the dead from their slumbers and lift the Good to Heaven. The Bad will be flung into the infernal pit with Yoonka.
We also accept that Yuzo survived the Roman sentence of death by beast and went on to live out his life with his wife Mary in Mogostan. His descendants founded the Holy Church. We have stamped out all heretics who have insisted that his body perished in the belly of the rampant whale before he rose on the third day. It is well established in the scriptures that he was rescued by Saint Jonah, the fisherman who cut him out of the whale's belly and that he did not die until thirty years later.
Now I must answer some scandalous allegations made by the enemies of Bogavania. It is true that we have in our army certain horse archers of the Luna faith. This is evident to all as the cresent moon appears on their flags. This in no way means we have come to a theological understanding with the Infidels. No conversions to the Moon god are permitted in Bogavania. We tolerate the spread of neither sect of Luna, that is the Moonies and the Lookas. However we are in clear and present danger of invasion by Beerstein and require these archers for the role they can play in its defence. It is also true that Beerstein now makes common cause with the pagan Hill people
Secondly, the split with Rome had nothing to do with the King's wish to marry his second cousin, Sophie Spooner. At seventeen she was well past marrying age and lacked a suitable suitor. The king had recently lost Jillian, his wife, of twenty years, in a tragic accident but he has decided to cut short the period of grieving to facilitate a happy life for princess Sophie.
Nor is it true that the king wished to simply take over the monasteries in greed for their gold. It is true that the monks had accumulated huge amount of wealth but this will be now employed by the king for the good of the realm.
We wish King Hoot well in his own endeavours to follow Bogavania's example to bring religious revelation to Redia and to break the ties to The Whore of Babble, the Roman Pope.
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