An Account From A Kansan Volunteer In Ozzz

 What follows is a true account from Captain Agorn Cannister, First Kansas Volunteers.

Well,  I wasn't in Kansas anymore. Our destination had been classified but we were told we were on an important expedition vital to the security of the United States of Ameriga, We were told to expect very unusual enemies and that some of them might be the stuff of nightmares but we had signed on for our country, adventure and possibly, land grants. One thing is for sure, this ninth of September, 1900 was to be the most memorable day of my life, when I discovered that Baum's story, The Wizard of Oz was true, or at least partly true, hence the extra Zs we place on it, and also because our troops had such a long wait to go through the 'portal; that the men were dozing off whilst laying on the Kansas ground heads on their back packs or blanket rolls. The other thing is there may be many Ozs and we found just one of them.

Here is a little political background for you: War had been looming with Espaniola over a revolution in Cuba when the portal was discovered in Kansas and provided a major distraction. I mean Dorothy first found it but no-one believed her, except maybe the writer, Baum. Then a US Kansan senator, Percival Barrel, saw Dorothy return through the portal. He was on a hunting trip when he saw the shimmering green sphere. The brown haired girl in the calico dress ran straight in,

Mr Barrel reported this to the federal Bureau Of The Supernatural and it reported to the Pentagon and President Troomp. The generals demonstrated a keen interest as they always did when they saw a chance to enhance their prestige with another war. They were convinced there was another world just awaiting their attention, The FBOTB had been instrumental in making the paranormal a normal topic of conversation since it had proven the existence of Big Foot and flying saucers. 

President Troomp was not so sure as he hated to waste money on 'overseas shitholes'. However he was a populist and certain events were mobilising public opinion in favour of this strange expedition. The thing is that not long after Dorothy's second disappearance around 200 warriors from Ozzz appeared in Kansas, They were yellow skinned (much more yellow than any Oriental) and they were armed with halberds. They broke into houses and killed some people, Some of them even robbed my Uncle Jeff's henhouse. people got scared and demanded something be done to seal 'the border'. Troomp agreed but he relaised we couldn't seal it like an ordinary border. Troops and police did patrol around it but it sometimes moved position, so far only a few metres but who knows, maybe it will move further? Troomp said we have to send soldiers through to see what was going on and. The generals said we had to seize territory as a buffer zone..

And I'm sure people in high places started saying we might find gold, diamonds, coal or oil there. After all, the Confederate States of America got to keep a big slice of these kind of resources when it won the War of Secession. Texas was especially prized now people were beginning to experiment in using oil instead of steam to make things work.

The call for volunteers was made because the standing army was tiny. Colonel bates of the Kansas militia came to the fore and enlisted volunteers, promising them land and a mule. (He wasn't really authorised to promise that but in brought in a lot of men).

Myself? Well i had gone to West Point and been dishonourably discharged for my behaviour with a general's daughter. I pulled out of my marriage promise and that was that. No matter how good my military scores that general had me kicked out. But Bates took me in because he just wanted good officers, who were not necessarily gentlemen.

So one fine Autumn morning the First Kansas Volunteers and The First Regular infantry entered to portal along with a couple of machine guns. The regulars and the machine gunners got there first. It sure was creepy going through that green mist as it was thick and cold and smelt of something sweet, kind f like lime lemonade, Then we were through and the Sun (or A Sun) shone on us. We saw huge fungi of many colours and houses shaped like giant toad stools. Some hundred yards in front of us was a dark forest. To our left was a cave and a cliff at the base of which was large pond or small lake.

Then, in the distance we saw to our front/left some local soldiers dressed in fancy Napoleonic type uniforms, mostly with dark blue jackets and white small clothes. Some of them looked to be grenadiers in tall bearskin hats. There were old cannons too and some short men in armour - dwarves!

A first we were under no immediate threat but then some strange, pale green, red crested, long necked apparently intelligent bipeds with tails and wielding large jagged clubs emerged from the pond. Suddenly a high pitched cry emitted from their mouths and they charged us! The machine gun opened up but althugh many f them dropped they appeared to be fearless.

to be continued...